On My Way To Becoming A General

It is official now, my selfless devotion to this fine country is finally being recognized. I put myself in harms way each day (the hallways can be slick after they mop) just so Americans can be free. The President of the United States is giving me a promotion for all my years of service and dedication…I am now a 1st Lieutenant. It really doesn’t mean that much since everyone gets the promotion after two years, but at least there is an increase in pay, that is the biggest deal of the whole thing.

Peaches thought he was pretty funny by putting a sign on me when Candi was taking my picture of my new colored rank, but I always remind him that Georgia just leaves off the "Y" when they abbreviate their state.

The weather has been pretty cold and rainy, so I came up with an indoor mini-golf obstacle course. Candi seems to be the best at it. Here is Peaches with his signature “tongue on upper lip” to help his concentration, while playing the prestigeous course. I am pretty sure it is right behind Pebble Beach in terms of design and beauty.

Saturday the weather was less than Speedo weather, so Candi and I went to the William J. Clinton Presidential Center. We were told that even if it was for old Wild Bill, it was still worth seeing. It looks like a mobile home on stilts, which was probably the design so it would blend into the Arkansas landscape. It was very interesting and they had a whole section on civil rights which was really interesting. They had exact replicas of the oval office and other rooms in the White House. In addition to the center, a traveling exhibit called the “White House in Miniature” was there. It was pretty impressive at a scale of one inch equaled one foot. They had all the details with handmade carpets, real working lights, and TVs that worked and the channel could be changed with tweezers. It took 600,000 hours to build over a period of 32 years.
As for the training, it is going pretty well. It is a lot of fun flying low-levels and dropping cargo. We dropped troops one day and heavy equipment the other day. The co-pilot is the one that makes it all work. The two students take turns being the pilot and co-pilot (Jamie and I are flying partners, so we alternate) and the pilot flies the route as directed by the navigator and co-pilot, while the co-pilot throws the switches to drop the load. It depends on the type of load, but usually one button releases a lever that catapults the drag chute out into the slip stream behind the plane and then that chute pulls the load out since the bottom of the cargo area is covered with rollers. Once the load is out, the drag chute separates from the load and a new and bigger chute is deployed to bring the load to the ground softly. Some loads we can just open up the back end and bring the nose up to the point where they just roll out the back and then their chute deploys. Of course, with paratroopers there is no load and once the co-pilot throws a green light on they decide to leave a fully functioning airplane with a static line deploying their chute for them as soon as they jump out the door. In training they simulate a “towed trooper” and we have to fly back to the drop zone and cut him loose…hoping he is conscious! Yeah, the Army doesn’t care so much about their dudes because they want our first action to be cutting them loose versus trying to pull them back in…glad not to be a ground pounder!

We had a couple days of learning what Akmed was shooting at us. They were “secret” briefings and they went to great lengths to make sure we didn’t have any electronics, notes, etc. on us for the classes. Of course we can’t discuss the information, but thanks to the French and the Russians for outfitting them, they can do some damage to us. I was really excited about the classes, but they weren’t quite as cool as I had thought. Most of the information was kind of already known, but they did have cool video footage. Come to find out, going slow and having a big airplane isn’t always the most advantageous when you are getting blasted!

The upcoming week is chalked full of activities for me. I have two days of sims, two days of classes, and one day of getting shot this week. Yes, we get to see what different types of anti-aircraft artillery (AAA) and surface to air missiles (SAMs) look like when they are coming for us. I guess it would be nice to know what is reaching out and touching you, right before it does and you die. I guess it is like knowing the make of the gun that the burglar has right before he uses it on you…very helpful information…only if it doesn’t do its job.

Candi is doing well and just got a haircut. She didn’t use my barber, so she still has some left. She has been working a lot, but then she better so she can keep pulling her weight since my weight got bigger with the promotion! I expect her to keep the same income ratio even if it means getting a second job…oh wait, here she comes to read this…DISREGARD ALL THAT, even though I am sure she will take it quite well and sh