On My Way To Becoming A General

It is official now, my selfless devotion to this fine country is finally being recognized. I put myself in harms way each day (the hallways can be slick after they mop) just so Americans can be free. The President of the United States is giving me a promotion for all my years of service and dedication…I am now a 1st Lieutenant. It really doesn’t mean that much since everyone gets the promotion after two years, but at least there is an increase in pay, that is the biggest deal of the whole thing.

Peaches thought he was pretty funny by putting a sign on me when Candi was taking my picture of my new colored rank, but I always remind him that Georgia just leaves off the "Y" when they abbreviate their state.

The weather has been pretty cold and rainy, so I came up with an indoor mini-golf obstacle course. Candi seems to be the best at it. Here is Peaches with his signature “tongue on upper lip” to help his concentration, while playing the prestigeous course. I am pretty sure it is right behind Pebble Beach in terms of design and beauty.

Saturday the weather was less than Speedo weather, so Candi and I went to the William J. Clinton Presidential Center. We were told that even if it was for old Wild Bill, it was still worth seeing. It looks like a mobile home on stilts, which was probably the design so it would blend into the Arkansas landscape. It was very interesting and they had a whole section on civil rights which was really interesting. They had exact replicas of the oval office and other rooms in the White House. In addition to the center, a traveling exhibit called the “White House in Miniature” was there. It was pretty impressive at a scale of one inch equaled one foot. They had all the details with handmade carpets, real working lights, and TVs that worked and the channel could be changed with tweezers. It took 600,000 hours to build over a period of 32 years.
As for the training, it is going pretty well. It is a lot of fun flying low-levels and dropping cargo. We dropped troops one day and heavy equipment the other day. The co-pilot is the one that makes it all work. The two students take turns being the pilot and co-pilot (Jamie and I are flying partners, so we alternate) and the pilot flies the route as directed by the navigator and co-pilot, while the co-pilot throws the switches to drop the load. It depends on the type of load, but usually one button releases a lever that catapults the drag chute out into the slip stream behind the plane and then that chute pulls the load out since the bottom of the cargo area is covered with rollers. Once the load is out, the drag chute separates from the load and a new and bigger chute is deployed to bring the load to the ground softly. Some loads we can just open up the back end and bring the nose up to the point where they just roll out the back and then their chute deploys. Of course, with paratroopers there is no load and once the co-pilot throws a green light on they decide to leave a fully functioning airplane with a static line deploying their chute for them as soon as they jump out the door. In training they simulate a “towed trooper” and we have to fly back to the drop zone and cut him loose…hoping he is conscious! Yeah, the Army doesn’t care so much about their dudes because they want our first action to be cutting them loose versus trying to pull them back in…glad not to be a ground pounder!

We had a couple days of learning what Akmed was shooting at us. They were “secret” briefings and they went to great lengths to make sure we didn’t have any electronics, notes, etc. on us for the classes. Of course we can’t discuss the information, but thanks to the French and the Russians for outfitting them, they can do some damage to us. I was really excited about the classes, but they weren’t quite as cool as I had thought. Most of the information was kind of already known, but they did have cool video footage. Come to find out, going slow and having a big airplane isn’t always the most advantageous when you are getting blasted!

The upcoming week is chalked full of activities for me. I have two days of sims, two days of classes, and one day of getting shot this week. Yes, we get to see what different types of anti-aircraft artillery (AAA) and surface to air missiles (SAMs) look like when they are coming for us. I guess it would be nice to know what is reaching out and touching you, right before it does and you die. I guess it is like knowing the make of the gun that the burglar has right before he uses it on you…very helpful information…only if it doesn’t do its job.

Candi is doing well and just got a haircut. She didn’t use my barber, so she still has some left. She has been working a lot, but then she better so she can keep pulling her weight since my weight got bigger with the promotion! I expect her to keep the same income ratio even if it means getting a second job…oh wait, here she comes to read this…DISREGARD ALL THAT, even though I am sure she will take it quite well and sh

Best Moment in Pilot Training

I about forgot to show my best moment in pilot training that happened last week...

Tee shot on a 174 yrd par three! Yeah, baby and I didn't even have to kick it when no one was looking. Too bad I still two putted from there!

Honky-tonk Weekend

We spent this weekend in Music City, USA. My weekend started when my simulator was complete at 1:00am on Friday morning, so after a little nap, Candi and I loaded up the wagon, hitched up the team, and headed out for Nashville. It was a five and a half hour trip to the Tennessee capital, but it gave me time to dust off my boots. On the way we got to see where one of the tornados touched down in the last storm and nobody called to see if we were effected by…thanks for the concern everybody! I know this picture won’t do it justice, but it looked like a bunch of snapped off tooth picks stuck in the ground. It was incredible to see the swath that it took out right through the country side. Signs were twisted around trees and metal poles looked like they were that twisty kind of pasta. We made it into town in time to catch a Brad Paisley, Rodney Atkins, and Chuck Wicks concert at the Sommet Center. Candi isn’t a huge country music fan (hence she has no boots), but she humored me by going to the concert with me. I am not a huge Brad Paisley fan, but he does have a lot of hits. I was really excited to get to see Rodney Atkins, although not as excited as some were to see Brad. Usually it is the women, but I actually saw dudes high fiving each other when Brad would sing or dance around and then they held up lighters and cell phones on the slow songs...these dudes from Tennessee are a bit different!
Saturday we explored the Opryland Hotel and the Grand Ole Opry House. We saw a television star (the dad from Little People, Big World) while touring the hotel complex. We also got to go to a Dave and Buster’s Sports Grill. It is like a Chucky Cheese for adults. In addition to food, they have bowling, arcade games, and virtual reality games…that alone could have made the trip worth it for me…Candi, not so much!
Saturday night we went to the Grand Ole Opry at the Ryman Auditorium, which is the historic home of the Opry. They have it there in the winter time because there typically aren’t as many people and they can accommodate everyone at the more historic venue. We were privileged to see Rebecca Lynn-Howard, Little Jimmy Dickens, Jimmy C. Newman, Hal Ketchum, Mel McDaniel, Marty Stuart, Connie Smith, Del McCoury Band, Bill Anderson, Jack Greene, and Darryl Worley. It was a great show and something I have wanted to do for a long time…of course Candi didn’t sing along to every song, but she still had a good time as well.
I found a shirt that would go good with my boots...Candi wouldn't let me buy it with our joint account...don't know why...?We also saw Music Row (where all the music studios are), the capital, downtown Nashville, and many other historic buildings. The Country Music Hall of Fame was the last site that we took in before we watered our horses and headed back home. The travel to and from was pretty uneventful with the exception of the occasional XXX Adult Stores strewn about the freeway exits in TN. Very weird and different, but then again so were the majority of the Tennessee natives…they make Arkansas feel like you are on the Harvard campus! They make Larry the Cable Guy sound like he speaks the Queen’s English.
As for the reason I am not in Idaho, the rigorous flight training schedule saw we complete my first low level simulator this last week. It was really fun, but surprisingly hard to fly 500 feet above the terrain just by looking outside the cockpit. We have done so much training that requires a lot of flying by instruments that when you fly primarily without using the instruments, it just feels weird. We would simulate drops and you could actually feel and hear a load coming out the back end of the aircraft; it was amazing how realistic that sim can replicate the real thing. I have a few more sims this week and a few days of academics.

Lastly, due to the grave danger I have put my life into for my country, the Air Force is recognizing my efforts with a promotion. I lobbied for a Distinguished Fly Cross, but they are only going to give me a silver bar out of it. I am looking for a paper to be mailed to me and once I sign that document, I will be a 1st Lieutenant.

P.S. In Nashville they don't round to the nearest 5!

Breezy In Arkansas

The last week had about every type of weather. The week started with a high of 77 and clear. Then a warm front "blew" in and we saw one of the best lightening and thunderstorms that I can remember. They led to severe thunderstorms, which had a few tornados that resulted from the breezes they put off. We were fortunate that we only received "gentle" winds and rain. However, as close as 10 miles away, they had very strong winds and tornados touch down. As soon as the storms moved out, the temperature fell down below freezing and it got cloudy. Then it cleared up, stayed cold, and blew in excess of 5o miles an hour for a few days. Finally, the wind stopped and it has been gorgeous ever since. Today I wore shorts and a T-shirt...of course after I got home from church.

I, like Winnie the Pooh, braved the blustery days and carried on with my life. The training for the C-130 mission started this past week. We are learning how to fly low and drop cargo, since that is the life blood of our aircraft. We will learn what kind of ways "Akmed" has to kill us, as well as how to fly at night on night vision goggles so "Akmed" can't see us as well. We also learn all about how to drop different types of cargo as well as how to fly in formation with these massive birds. The schedule looks to be pretty interesting and we get to fly simulator low levels in Afghanistan...not to mention we will also take live fire...the best way to take live fire is in the simulator!

I hated to do it, but I took time to work on my golf game this week. The usual suspects found a new partner...

...it is my buddy's dog. She rode in the cart for 18 holes and didn't move unless she was told to do so. My dog could never have been so well behaved. The dog proved to be invaluable when it would retrieve a golf ball in the woods or rough (I never hit it there, but some do). I think there might be a future for dogs on the golf course!

Candi also joined us on Saturday. She got to the point where she could really "wallop" the old ball, but we haven't figured out how to get it to travel where she aims...guess we will have to go back and figure it out!

A couple that Candi and I know are into mountain biking, so we decided to try it out this week. I had to go buy a helmet and those shorts that make you feel like you forgot to pull down your pants when you got to the bathroom. They have a gel lining on the bottom side of them and they reduce the wear and tear on your backside. I expect that when I get old and have to wear Depends, that it will feel much the same. There is a National Guard camp close to here called Camp Robinson and they have over 50 miles of trail that are just for mountain bikers. I have been going and taking the dog (who usually stays close by) so we both could get some exercise. Candi bought a nice bike while I was gone in pilot training and got into the whole riding thing, so she goes as well.

In other news, Candi is convinced that I am stuck on stupid. I know everyone is going "duh" right now, but I gave her a new reason to think it. Have you ever gone to the mall or Wal-Mart or something and seen the kids with the shoes that have rollers in the heels? They are all over and I can't see why the kids get to have all the fun. Well, finally in December, the manufacturers decided to make bigger sizes to include adults. I had been searching high and low for adult shoes and...

I found them. Candi says it is the stupidest and most immature thing I could have done. She sided with the store clerk that said that the adult sizes didn't catch on like they had hoped and now they have quit stocking them because they were better for kids. Well, not letting the kids have all the fun, I am now a proud new owner of the only size 11 Heely's still in a store in all of Central Arkansas. I spend more time on my backside than standing on them...hey, I just thought of another time I can wear my Depends biking shorts!

I'm Qualified...And On To The Next Phase

The light at the end of the tunnel is starting to get brighter. I had my initial qualification checkride on Wednesday and passed. Thanks to all who sent up a prayer or two on my behalf...they must have got through the shingles. It wasn't the best checkride ever, but on paper it looks the same as the guy who was perfect. I almost did some poaching while flying. I about hit a deer that ran across the runway while I was trying to land...that would not have been good for both parties. Putting a deer through four jet driven propellers would have been the equivalent of putting a single piece of celery in a salad shooter. Bambi would have been pureed to the point that senior citizens could have eaten venison without their dentures falling out.

Now that the checkride is over, I have been studying hard for the next phase which starts Tuesday. Photos were taken while I slaved over the new material.

I "studied" twice this past week/weekend and realized that I got the wrong course material. Once I get the new material, I expect to find it explaining how to drop cargo out the back of a C-130 rather than how to drop in a golf ball from 130 yards out. The next phase in our mission qualification phase and it is where we learn how to drop cargo at certain locations. It sounds pretty easy, but getting cargo through a hostile area and dumping it out the back of an airplane while making sure it parachutes down to the exact location can actually take some planning. In the next phase we will learn all about the planning and how to do these types of missions. It should be pretty cool, since this is the whole reason the Air Force uses a C-130.

In other news Candi and I tried to go to a MercyMe, Skillet, Barlow Girl, etc. concert on Friday night. We got there a half an hour after the doors were open and it was sold out. It was a bummer because I really wanted to see Skillet, but the poor youth groups that traveled 16 hours just to find out the same news were the ones that made me feel sorry. In addition to my golfing on the weekend, we had a Super Bowl party today. We had several friends from pilot training over for some food and fun. I cheered all day for the Dallas Cowboys, but they didn't win.

Candi is doing well and continues to work from home. She is busy but still finds time to make it to the gym each day. She has been really committed to going to the gym daily, but it might be more to get out of the house than to get in shape...although, she is getting quite the hard body. Now if I could just lose a little myself...sitting in a classroom or a cockpit doesn't lend itself to high intensity cardio workouts. Well, until next time...C-YA!